by Mr. Titus Menezes
Colossians 3:12
“As God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. “
I considered myself to be a ‘kind person’ but since June I have to admit that its all been blown to tatters. As I studied the word, every action of mine came under the microscope. I hoped to see some kindness in me but I was nowhere near it. I find myself unworthy to speak on this topic but let it be done according to His command. I believe that God is wanting to work in the area of kindness in my life and your life.
Before we get down to this word kindness, a little background of this book to the Colossians. The main theme of this book is ‘the Lordship of Christ’.
The Christian community in Colossae was made up predominantly of Gentiles. These people of tender faith were, being troubled by false teachers. The problem was how to identify these false teachers and their teachings. So Paul wrote this letter with a two-fold purpose:
– to strengthen the faith of the community
– to correct errors reported about the Church in Colossae
This letter can be divided into 3 main sections
the Lordship of Christ over creation and the church (1:15-2:5)
Here Paul tells the community of the supremacy of Christ in every respect.
the Lordship of Christ compromised (2:6-23)
Paul addresses the problem faced by the Colossians from false teachers. They demanded circumcision, observance of food regulations, festivals, worship of angels etc – all earthly things
the Lordship of Christ lived (3:1-4:6)
the community is exhorted to live and lead a new life in Christ by seeking things from above and not of the earth. Sinful actions & desires have no part in the followers of Christ.
This section gives guidelines on how to live a new life in Christ – within the community, within the family and those outside the community.
Let us begin by defining kindness. To get a better understanding of this word let us find the opposite of this word.
- unkind, rude, hateful, vengeful, resentful, impatient, curt, impolite, uncaring, cruel, harsh, mean, ruthless, wicked, heartless, boastful
Having identified the opposite, it is easier now to define kindness. So what will be the words?
- goodness, merciful, pity, loving, grace, favor, compassionate, gentle, tenderness, thoughtful, considerate, patient, not boastful, a smile, justice, forgiving.
The dictionary defines kindness as being of sympathetic, forbearing, or pleasant nature – benevolent (kind), gracious. The problem with the word kindness is there is no one single word which can define it. So is the case in Hebrew and Greek. There is an overlapping of the meaning and hence it covers a wide range of meanings.
Kindness means taking the tender approach, with patience and compassion. Anger is often our first reaction to the problems of others. Impatience with the faults of others is related to this.
Kindness is an action word, not passive.
Kindness can be classified into two:
- human kindness
- divine kindness
This classification itself will help us understand this subject better. We ourselves have experienced kindness in both these forms in our day to day living.
Human kindness is the kindness, which each person has within himself by default and is expressed at some time or the other. Even a wicked man is able to show kindness. Even criminals show kindness to those of their fraternity. But there is a major problem here.
This kindness is
- not continuous, impulsive (it is there for sometime as the situation demands and then gone)
- inconsistent (it varies from person to person)
- but most importantly it is selfish.
Man by nature is selfish and so is not in a position to be kind. In most of the cases kindness is shown with something else in mind. Will I benefit from this action, if not forget it. A kind of ‘I scratch your back, you scratch my back’. Only if returns are guaranteed then it is worth showing kindness.
Paul has used the strongest possible words to describe man’s nature.
Romans 3:12-14 states – there is no one who shows kindness, there is not even one. Their throats are opened graves; they use their tongue to deceive; the venom of vipers is under their lips; their mouths are full of cursing and bitterness.
Is God’s kindness like this?
- Divine kindness has no such limits. It is immeasurable and is not bound by time and space. It is there whether we are there to receive it or not. Even if we humans are ungrateful and wicked, God is kind. He will never change. It is his characteristic, his attribute (feature)
- Luke 6:35 says ‘love your enemies, do good, and lend expecting nothing in return. Your reward will be great and you will be children of the Most High; for he is kind to the ungrateful and the wicked. Be merciful just as your Father is merciful’
- Psalms 145:9 says ‘God is good to all he has made right from the time of creation’. We read of his kindness repeatedly to the Israelites when they were in slavery, in the desert, when they were under oppression of foreign powers. He warned them through prophets to repent and turn back to him so that they might prosper. Isn’t this his kindness, his gentleness?
When God saw that man did not respond to his kindness, He pitched in His very best – His only Son – Jesus. He sent him into the world to show His deep love for man. Jesus expressed His Father’s kindness in word and deed during his ministry all the way to the cross. This was the magnitude of our Father’s kindness. There is no greater love and kindness than this.
Since then the world has experienced a massive outpouring of His Spirit. It is through the power of the Spirit that we experience the fruit as listed in
Galatians 5:22-23 – love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
We will focus on this divine kindness. You may have a question Why should we show kindness to people?
2 reasons:
1. God is kind to us, God is good to us
We sing the song – ‘God is good all the time’. I refer Acts 14:16-17. Paul & Barnabas were in Lystra and after preaching the word of God healed a man crippled from birth. The people out there immediately came forward to offer sacrifices. Paul & Barnabas were upset and tore their clothes at this action and spoke to the crowds ‘in past generations He allowed all the nations to follow their own ways; yet he has not left himself without a witness in doing good i.e. in being kind – giving you rains from heaven and fruitful seasons, and filling you with food and your hearts with joy’
God our creator and Father is kind to us by giving us rain and sunshine. He provides crops in their season. We have beautiful nature around us, so many materialistic things for our comfort.
But man has taken all these things for granted. It is seldom understood to be a demonstration of God’s kindness/love. Whatever be our understanding, God continues to show His kindness by providing all these things for our enjoyment.
God showed us his kindness in sending His only Son Jesus Christ into the world for our salvation. It is through His death & resurrection that we have received eternal life. Paul speaks of our salvation with these words “ For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, slaves to passion and hating one another. But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Saviour appeared, he saved us, not because of any works of righteousness that we had done but according to His mercy’. Titus 3:3-5
We have experienced his loving kindness. That’s the reason we gather here week after week. God continues to show His kindness once we believe in Him. He teaches us his truths, guides us, protects us and comforts us. He fills our hearts with love joy and peace. Because he is kind to us, he expects us to be kind to others.
Romans 2:4 says ‘ do you despise the riches of his kindness and forbearance (tolerance) and patience? Do you not realize that God’s kindness is meant to lead you to repentance?
Paul says divine kindness is meant to lead us into repentance. You may ask how? God by being kind, tolerant and patient is giving us another opportunity to turn from our wicked ways and to turn back to him. It is because of his kindness that we live today. We sing the song – thy loving kindness is better than life.
2. God gave us the command to be kind to others
‘A new command I give you. Love one another as I have loved you. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.’ John 13:34-35 (replace the word love with kind/kindness)
Paul exhorts the people of Colossae with our theme verse. He does the same to the believers in Ephesus – ‘be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you.’
This kindness is not for any favored people (only select few) but for all with whom we may come in contact – at home, while traveling or at work.
How can we obtain this kindness?
When God gives us the command to be kind, he does not expect us to do so on our own strength. He is not expecting us to show the human kind of kindness. He wants us to depend on him totally. Jesus said to his disciples ‘I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who abide in me and I in them bear much fruit, because apart from me you can do nothing. John 15:5
Notice the words ‘apart from me you can do nothing’. The sooner we realize our inability the better. Jesus is very clear in his statement. Apart from God, we cannot really show kindness because of our selfish nature.
So what do we have to do? We have to remain in Christ all the time. We need to remain in fellowship with his Spirit at all times. We need to spend time with Him in prayer and Scripture reading. Only then will our hearts be filled with His Spirit. We will be filled with God’s love and compassion to love others. The fruit of the Spirit will be manifested as listed in Galatians 5:22, not only kindness but all the others as well. I request you to turn to Galatians 5:22 ‘by contrast, the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.
Again notice the sentence – it is ‘fruit of the spirit’ not fruits of the spirit. It is singular not plural. It is not a ‘fruit salad’. In my office canteen once a week we have for desert a fruit salad. In the tray we have about 24 cups. I notice that in 1 cup, we have more of melon, in another mango or sweet lime or pineapple. It is never equal quantities of all in a cup
But this is not the case with the fruit of the Spirit. If we claim to have God’s Spirit then love, joy peace and the others have to be manifested. We cannot say ‘I am high on kindness and low on patience or midway for self-control’. It would be a mockery of God’s Spirit. Though I speak to you on kindness and gentleness, the same applies for the others as well. God is not rationing the level of fruit. He gives it abundantly. It is for us to develop it by working closely with Him.
As homework, read 1 Corinthians 13. replace the word ‘love’, with God, your own name. It will give a better understanding of the subject.
What I mean is this:
I read it as it is – Love is patient, love is kind…..
Second time I read it as: God is patient, God is kind…..
Third time I read it as: I am patient, I am kind….
Put your name, like for me, I read it as: Titus is patient, Titus is kind, Titus is not jealous….
Believe me, this exercise has helped many a people and I suggest you do this because you at least try to become patient, kind and ultimately become ‘LOVE’!
Love is patient; love is kind. So patience and kindness are linked. In Corinthians 6:6 kindness is linked with purity and holiness
You must have noticed, all the words are so interlinked. There is an overlap thus covering almost everything.
How can we show kindness to others?
by speaking kindly to others
in our daily living, we hear people speak harshly, angrily to one another. It is more so in the family where we have taken one another for granted. Such words hurt relationship. We read in Genesis 37 where the brothers of Joseph hated him because his father loved him more than them. They could not speak a kind word about him.
Like the brothers of Joseph our old self is full of jealousy, pride and hatred. We cannot speak kind words to our brothers and people around us. But if we abide in Christ then we will be able to speak kind words. We will become like Christ at whom people were amazed because of the gracious words that came from his lips.
developing a kind attitude toward others
Not only do we need to speak kind words to others, it is also important that we show a kind attitude towards others. Attitude is a non-verbal communication. People know whether or not we care for them by our facial expression and by the way we treat them. One way to show a kind attitude is to listen to others with a sympathetic and understanding heart. Let them know that we respect them and are interested in what they have to say. Let us be polite and courteous.
do kind deeds to others
This is kindness in action. There has to be some action for it to be kindness. It is not easy and time consuming. Whenever somebody has gone out of the way and done something for us, we are touched and grateful to that person.
There are many examples of kindness in the OT and NT but we will take one each.
I refer to 2 Samuel 9 which talks of David’s kindness to Mephibosheth. We all know the story of King Saul and his son Jonathan and of David. Of how; David replaced Saul as King of Israel.
Inspite of all the wrong Saul did to David, David honored him. Saul & Jonathan died a very tragic death and David mourned. David still felt he had not done enough for them, so he asks –‘is there anyone remaining of the house of Saul to whom I may show the kindness of God?’ (not mine)
Mephibosheth the crippled son of Jonathan was brought and these are the words of David to him
‘Do not be afraid, for I will show you kindness for the sake of your father Jonathan; I will restore to you all the land of your grandfather Saul and you shall eat at my table – always’
In the NT, the story of the Good Samaritan shows us the character of Kindness: Luke 10:25-37
Kindness is love in action. Luke 10:25-29
25 Just then a lawyer stood up to test Jesus. "Teacher," he said, "what must I do to inherit eternal life?"
26 He said to him, "What is written in the law? What do you read there?"
27 He answered, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind; and your neighbor as yourself."
28 And he said to him, "You have given the right answer; do this, and you will live."
29 But wanting to justify himself, he asked Jesus, "And who is my neighbor?"
This religious expert had all the head knowledge about God that a person could hope for. He agreed with loving God, but he had some trouble with the neighbor part of the equation. He was like most of us. It’s relatively easy to respond to an invitation or pray a prayer to trust in Christ. It’s sometimes hard to express that love to others through out actions. Kindness is love in action.
Jesus says, in no uncertain terms, that love for God expresses itself in kindness toward other people. Here’s where loving action begins.
Kindness notices needs.
Jesus replied with an illustration "A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and fell into the hands of robbers, who stripped him, beat him, and went away, leaving him half dead. Luke 10:30
This is a man in need. He been robbed and beaten and there he is lying beside the road. What are you going to do about it? That’s the key to kindness. A truly kind person will find a need and fill it. Find a hurt and heal it.
The kind person is able to put aside their own needs and desires and look out for others. If you’re a follower of Jesus Christ you recognize that God met your need not only for food, shelter, clothing and other material things, but he knew your need for forgiveness. God knew that you could never be good enough for him, so he sent his only Son to live a perfectly sinless life for you. He died on the cross paying the dept that you owe, but could never repay. God sought you and presented this life changing Good News in a way you could understand and respond to. The expectation is that we who have been lavished with God’s love reach out to love other people.
Philippians 2:4: Let each of you look not to your own interests, but to the interests of others.
It’s really a matter of selfishness versus selflessness. To be kind we must choose to focus on the needs of the other and put our own aside. More and more I find that we opt for self rather than kindness.
Busyness is the enemy of kindness.
In our present lifestyle busyness is next to godliness. The reality is that busyness is the death of kindness. Here’s how it played out in the story:
31 Now by chance a priest was going down that road; and when he saw him, he passed by on the other side.
32 So likewise a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side.
Here are two religious guys who see the need at hand. Don’t imagine that these were heartless, cruel people. In their own towns they probably had reputations as generous and godly people. Their lives were just too busy and important to help this man in need. They had their religious duty to take care of at the church. Surely the worship service was more important than the needs of the man on the side of the road.
Besides, if they touched him they’d be ceremonially unclean and unable to even enter the Temple until a after a period of cleansing. They were too busy with their religious activities to be kind.
Let’s not be too quick to judge them for it. How many of us are in such a hurry to get to work, that we won’t stop to help a person? I know the excuses because I’ve used them before. How many of us are so busy making a living and climbing the corporate ladder that we won’t get involved in service at church? We all have talents and abilities that could meet the needs of other people. We could be kind, but we’re just too busy.
Next, we see the inward influence of the Holy Spirit.
Kindness elicits (brings out) empathy.
33 But a Samaritan while traveling came near him; and when he saw him, he was moved with pity.
The Samaritan came along and felt compassion for the beaten and bleeding man. He probably imagined what it would be like if he or someone he loved where there on the side of the road. That’s empathy. It’s the ability to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes. Kindness and empathy go hand in hand.
As Christians, we’re expected to act on our empathy with kindness. If they Holy Spirit lives in you you’ll feel compassion toward those in need, the crucial point is to put on kindness. Act on what you feel.
Get close enough to other people to feel their pain and experience their joy.
We also see that …
Kindness pays the price.
34 He went to him and bandaged his wounds, having poured oil and wine on them. Then he put him on his own animal, brought him to an inn, and took care of him.
35 The next day he took out two denarii, gave them to the innkeeper, and said, "Take care of him; and when I come back, I will repay you whatever more you spend.'
If you put on kindness it will cost you something. In hundred’s of little ways- but it is going to cost us something: our time, our convenience, our labor, our strength: Visiting the sick, elderly, lonely; calling the discouraged; doing favors; running errands; bearing burdens; sharing joys and sorrows; encouraging the down-hearted; giving to the needy; befriending the friendless
Put on kindness. Find a need and fill it. Find a hurt and heal it. Be willing to pay the price of love.
Finally, we see …
Kindness obtains every opportunity.
36 Which of these three, do you think, was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of the robbers?"
37 He said, "The one who showed him mercy." Jesus said to him, "Go and do likewise." Luke 10:36-37
The advice is so simple that it’s almost insulting. Love God by loving people with your actions. God’s desire is that we, his people, live out his love through our kindness to our neighbors. Who’s your neighbor? A neighbor is the person nearest to you. Everyone, other than you, is your neighbor. Put on kindness with every neighbor whether they live in the same house with you or across the street or across the country or around the world.
Begin by practicing it.
So then, whenever we have an opportunity, let us work for the good of all. Galatians 6:10. If you’ll make the conscious choice and effort to put on kindness, in just a matter of time it will be a natural outflow of your inner being.
Truly the words of Jesus are right – for apart from me you can do nothing.
Friends, kindness is a gift that means a lot to people. When someone does a kind thing for us, we usually feel touched and grateful. Yet signs of kindness are small acts of thoughtfulness rather than major sacrifices and long-term commitments.
Remember it is not possible to do so on our own but only through the Spirit of God. That’s why Paul is exhorting the faithful of Colossae through 3:12 – as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness and patience.
In v8-10 Paul tells them to get rid of all such things – anger, wrath, malice, slander and abusive language. Do not lie to one another seeing that you have stripped off the old self with its practices and have clothed yourselves with the new self.
Let’s understand v12
As God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved clothe yourselves.
Clothe yourselves – these two words indicate that it is no longer something from within ourselves but something that is of a higher order. It comes from God and God alone. With relation to the topic of today, we have to clothe ourselves with divine kindness and not manifest our human kindness, which is faulty and failing.
Only if we are with the Lord will we be able to bear much of this fruit and I have told you the secret – prayer and Scripture reading.
Paul ends this passage with – ‘above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony’. (same as 1 Corinthians 13)
Friends having detailed out all that needs to be done, let your prayer this evening be to make kindness a priority in your life. Make a commitment to act kindly, to live kindly and to speak kindly.
Avoid the three D’s of inaction. Never delay, defer or deny an opportunity to be kind. Act kindly whenever possible, as soon as possible. Kindness delayed is kindness denied.
Be kind to people at home, at your work place or while traveling, at your prayer groups, your enemies. Remember kindness is small acts of thoughtfulness not major sacrifices. Only then will be called the Lord’s chosen ones.
And more importantly, as I said earlier, not kindness to receive kindness in return. That’s SELFISHNESS… it is not kindness!
I would like to end this topic on kindness with an act of kindness I saw over the last weekend. I was in Miraj about 500 kms from Mumbai to attend the first death anniversary mass of my uncle. My uncle was a church-going person and went out of his way to help people though his work and his health did not permit him to go any further.
As his wife moved over, we had to stay at a parishioner’s home there. I couldn't believe the things I was being told about this family. My uncle during his illness was advised to consume certain foods one of which was what we call ‘desi’ eggs. These were not easily available in Miraj. The lady of this house (were we were staying), an elderly woman who herself was having diabetes, knee joint pains and pressure problems decided to breed chickens so that she could supply these desi eggs without fail and without any charge. She bred 40 chickens to ensure continuous supply of the eggs.
Can we imagine this?. 40 chickens. It is no simple task rearing chickens. I know how tough it is as we ourselves bred chickens during our school days – the cleaning of the cage, feeding them at regular intervals, the gathering of them in the evening back into the cage and finally the tiny insects they generated that crawled over your body. It was too much that too for 5 chickens
But this lady withstanding all these difficulties went ahead. However my uncle passed on to the better world. When we enquired where are the chickens now she said – now that my ‘brother’ does not live what is the use of the chickens. I have slaughtered them. A lady who was no blood relative to us was supporting a dying parishioner. This lady has probably never attended a retreat, they do not have a prayer group there but was still acting out of kindness.
Not only this, for this anniversary mass, there were 3 people (working for railways) who took leave from their work to see all aspects of the programme went off well. They had the mass and a community gathering following it.
This was kindness in action:
- This community noticed the need of a parishioner
- Inspite of their normal daily busy schedule, they made time to meet this need.
- They paid the price to meet this need – money, time, labour etc
This community practiced kindness.
I was simply dumb-founded. I sat quietly seeing this. I was preparing a talk on kindness, which was text. Two questions came to mind?
- Whether I would do this for anybody? I had no answer. I knew I would never be able to do such a level of service
- Next most importantly - would I leave a legacy (an impression) behind where people would still remember me with fondness after I am dead and gone for my actions. My uncle is no longer here but I was there with my family members to see the impression he had left behind.
In our present lifestyle, we are forced to become selfish, to possess everything to satisfy our desires. But can we as Christians abide in the vine i.e Christ and manifest God’s kindness to all. Let us give it a try. He makes all things possible – Amen.