by Mr. Titus Menezes
Thomas was called ‘doubting Thomas’ after his encounter with resurrected Jesus. And we read this in Jn 20:24-29. This story does not find a mention in the other three gospels. This chapter begins with the resurrection of Jesus and is followed by His appearance to Mary Magdalene, the disciples without and with Thomas, then to seven disciples in which Peter experiences his conversion and finally with John the beloved disciple.
Thomas was called the twin because Thomas in Hebrew means twin. In Greek: Didymus. He has also been referred as Judas Thomas
Although we today always call him doubting Thomas, he was indeed a courageous and loyal person. We read this in story of the raising of Lazarus in John 11:16 Thomas, who was called the Twin, said to his fellow disciples, "Let us also go, that we may die with him."(NRSV)
Thomas wanted to be at the side of Jesus thus displaying great loyalty to His master. The other reference to Thomas is in John 14:5-6 - Thomas said to him, "Lord, we do not know where you are going. How can we know the way?" Jesus said to him, "I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. (NRSV)
Thomas was of a reasoning mind, a logical mind, don't spin me yarns. He was simple, honest and forthright and he asked Jesus the question plainly. And I do not know if Jesus’ reply made any sense to him. As a part of my preparation I read into a few other details:
At the division of the Apostles, India fell to the lot of Thomas, but he declared his inability to go. Jesus appeared in a supernatural way to Abban, who was the envoy of Gundafor, an Indian king, and sold Thomas to him to be his slave and serve Gundafor as a carpenter. Coming to India Thomas undertook to build a palace for Gundafor, but spend the money entrusted to him on the poor. Gundafor imprisoned him; but the Apostle escaped miraculously and Gundafor was converted. Going about the country to preach, Thomas met with strange adventures from dragons and wild asses. Then he came to the city of King Misdai (Syriac Mazdai), where he converted Tertia the wife of Misdai and Vazan his son. After this he was condemned to death, led out of city to a hill, and pierced through with spears by four soldiers. He was buried in the tomb of the ancient kings but his remains were afterwards removed to the West.
St. Thomas came to India in A.D.52 and was martyred in A.D.72 at St.Thomas Mount, a different part of the City, and was buried in Mylapore. A church was built over the tomb of the Saint and the area near the church is known as Santhome Church. He is called the patron saint of the architects whose feast we celebrate on third of July.
John’s gospel was written around 90-98 AD, nearly 20 years after the death of St. Thomas. Let’s read from the gospel according to John 20:24-29
But Thomas (who was called the Twin), one of the twelve, was not with them when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, "We have seen the Lord." But he said to them, "Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands, and put my finger in the mark of the nails and my hand in his side, I will not believe." A week later his disciples were again in the house, and Thomas was with them. Although the doors were shut, Jesus came and stood among them and said, "Peace be with you." Then he said to Thomas, "Put your finger here and see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it in my side. Do not doubt but believe."
Thomas answered him, "My Lord and my God!" Jesus said to him, "Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe."(NRSV)
The narration is very vivid and covers all details. The whole issue out here is of belief and this where I would like to revolve my talk. As I said Thomas was a practical, reasonable man and he would not just take in make-believe stories. Not only did he want to see, he wanted to touch. He wanted to doubly sure to believe that Jesus had indeed risen.
And Jesus granted him his wish. But Thomas was in awe just seeing the Lord and hearing him speak. If he had touched it would have been the use of his third sense. And Thomas exclaimed my Lord and my God!. This was the convicting point, the personal experience of the Lord. This was his turning point, a life changing experience. He believed in the Lord.
All of us here have had this life changing experience of the Lord at some retreat or similar program. We believed in the Lord. Before this we did not have that personal touch from the master: no active relationship with the Lord.
To put it in simple words before we came to believe in the Lord, we were unbelievers, in the sense, we acted out of convention rather than by conviction. When we were convicted, we believed in the Lord or there began our journey of belief. We had a first hand experience of the Lord, prior to that we heard and read stories of Jesus.
The recent tsunami of Japan – the world saw it on TV whereas the people of East Japan experienced it first hand. They felt the tremors, saw things being swept away before their own eyes.
Now between these stages of unbelief and belief there is a stage of doubt. There is a time of questioning. And the type of questions you ask determines whether your belief will grow or fade away. The more educated we are, I guess wider is this area of doubt. But the Lord loves challenges.
In faith there is enough light for those who want to believe and enough shadows to blind those who don't. -Blaise Pascal
Having had an experience of the Lord we feel good in the first few months but as time passes by problems seem to be creeping up. Questions arise: Is God really there? Was it just a temporary thing? Why me God? Why are you allowing this? Depending on conviction levels, our belief will either be strengthened or weakened.
Something beautiful also happens in this stage. When circumstances are against us, our belief is shaken and we begin to have doubts, the first thing we do is search for any sin in our lives and sanctify ourselves. This is also what the Lord wants – be holy as your Father in heaven is holy. And this is an ongoing process. God brings us to this point of questioning not to weaken our faith but to strengthen it.
Thomas had this issue. He has been with the Lord, followed Him all over but Jesus was still not the Lord of his life: the belief was more superficial. Not only Thomas but all the apostles had a superficial belief and the Lord wanted to strengthen them.
Think about Adam and Eve. They were with God and enjoyed His goodness and there was a test of their belief. The serpent put a doubt in their minds of this goodness. Having clear instructions to keep away from the tree, they chose to eat of it and you know the consequences. The Bible tell us, then the eyes of both were opened and they new they were naked.
Every doubt is opportunity to open your eyes to a new level but the way we respond makes the difference. Thomas had this doubt and when he saw the Lord his eyes were opened, proclaimed ‘My Lord and my God’ and moved on to a higher level.
Moses had doubts and he asked the Lord ‘….if the people do not believe me?’ The same question about belief and this is what the Lord is bringing to focus in this story of Thomas.
As I began my walk with the Lord, after the first goody, goody months, things seem to be going horribly wrong. Everything met with failures and at times a dead end. I began to question if God really cared about me. My belief was being weakened and I started doing things my way only to meet bigger blocks. There have been many times like Thomas I have said – Lord show yourself to me if you love me. Your word: let it be specific to me. Just as Thomas wanted!
God is not interested in our superficial belief and to strengthen our belief in Him, he brings us to these moments of doubt.
Friends, we all recite the Apostolic Creed – I believe in God, Son and Holy Spirit. But belief does not come by reciting prayers. Belief does not come by someone else’s experience, it comes from a personal experience. I cannot base my belief on my family members’ experience – this is not a first hand experience – it has to be between me and the Lord directly.
What stops us from believing every person on the street? Why do we always have a doubt that the person next to us in a train or a bus could be a thief or a terrorist? The answer is very simple – we do not know the person. The person is a total stranger and there is no question of a relationship with him. But as we begin to interact, as we hear the person out, slowly a relationship begins to form. Doubts that arise begin to be answered. Our knowledge of the person begins to increase. This increase of knowledge results in our belief in that person, slowly we begin to trust the person. And this is what the Bible calls ‘faith’. The word faith comes from the Greek noun pistis, verb form ‘pistevo’ translates ‘to believe’. So we see faith and belief are related words.
How are we going to believe in Jesus? He is no longer around as He was with the apostles - Romans 10:17 - So faith comes from what is heard, and what is heard comes through the word of Christ. (NRSV)
When we hear the Word of God, there has to be an increase of knowledge of Him and that is our personal experience of Him. I cannot have someone else’s knowledge, it is exclusively mine and mine only. No two persons can have the same level of knowledge about anything in this world. If it were same then we would be robots. Please note, hearing here refers not only to listening but also reading, studying and spending time with Him. “A mind once expanded by knowledge can never return to its original size.”
If your knowledge of the Lord has increased, your belief in Him will also increase and you will entrust more areas of your life to Him. For those with faith, no explanation is necessary. For those without, no explanation is possible. –Thomas Aquinas. Faith isn't believing without proof – it's trusting without reservation.
As I was preparing this talk, my wife went over to meet a lady of another faith who is having beautiful experiences of the Lord, also beautiful experiences in the Blessed Sacrament. At the same time I answered a phone call from a person who had married outside the faith and was sharing how good the Lord is – she has got a job after over 20 years of being at home. This is the reward of faith in our God.
Thomas had doubts and the Lord provided the answer. Faith which does not doubt is dead faith. His faith, his belief was strengthened. Convinced, Thomas uttered “My Lord and my God.” He did not respond with O Lord, O God. Neither did he respond with what Simon Peter replied in Mt 16:16 - "You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God."(NRSV)
His words were my Lord and my God. My! It was personal. He had received a first hand experience and from the depths of his heart he uttered those words. It would have sufficed to say my Lord but he added something more ‘my God’. He was proclaiming a higher truth taught by Jesus when He was with them.
When Thomas asked the question “we do not know where you are going”, Jesus replied back as we heard earlier. Then it was Philip who requested – show us the Father and Jesus replied John 14:11 - Believe me that I am in the Father and the Father is in me (NRSV). In John 10:30 Jesus said “The Father and I are one"(NRSV)
Thomas was fulfilling what the Lord taught them: my Lord referring to Jesus and my God referring to the Father not as separate persons but as one – the Father and Son were one. My Lord and My God!
As I prepared this talk, I felt the Lord asking to speak about doubts the faithful are having on the efficacy of the Eucharist. The reverence for the Eucharist is on the wane. Yet the host and wine that is consecrated is the body & blood, soul and divinity of Christ. Let us not doubt. So often the priests, at the time of elevation asks us to say – My Lord and My God! All we are asking is Lord open my eyes too!
There have been numerous instances in my life when I have felt His presence in doubtful situations and I have said “You are here too Lord”. As I prepare my talks I have lots of questions and I am amazed how the Lord always brings about the answers. My small mustard seed knowledge of the Lord is growing and so is my faith. God does not want my faith to remain or be stagnant at the Sunday Catechism level. I seriously do not know why He is always raising the bar, why he is not satisfied with my faith of yesterday.
I ask you to raise the bar of faith – let the words ‘My Lord and My God!’ not be for something that happened yesterday, let it be for today. Your doubts are the ones that are going to raise this bar. They are the eye openers.
‘My Lord and my God’ has to be our response as Christ reveals Himself – a statement of surrender, of humility, of unconditional trust. Amen!